A wonderful day in the neighborhood.

I just want to tell you all about my day so far. Why, you may ask? Well, because it has been AWESOME!

1) I thought I had a stain on my shirt, but I don't! The other day, I went to Old Navy and bought a really cute shirt. Then I was eating chips and salsa and obviously dropped a huge blob of salsa on my new shirt. Bummer. BUT, for Christmas, Grammy gave all of us this soap thing called Fels Naptha and told us to use it on our stains. It looks like this:

And it worked amazingly well! Grammy knows everything.

2) I went to Hyvee this morning because I'm making German Potato Salad this afternoon and when I was putting my groceries in the car, I looked down and there was a penny shining back at me! Wahooo! I'm one cent richer!

3) It is BEAUTIFUL outside and when I was walking to class, my sis called me and biked alongside me all the way to my building. What a great sister!

4) THERE IS A DIPPIN' DOTS STAND ON CAMPUS! I mean, what could be better than that?! I think it is here because it is State Band day or whatever, but maybe they'll realize how awesome MU is and just set up a permanent stand. How wonderful would that be?!

5) There is also a huge farmer's market on campus and I'm going to eat a fresh hamburger and some honey ice cream for lunch! Mmmmmmmmmm! AND, I'm going to buy some baked goods from the Amish people!

6) Today is my last day of Jumpstart. Which is actually sad, but I'm really excited because Sarah let me borrow her camera and I'm going to take pictures of my adorable children. THEN, after our session we're having a big Jumpstart BBQ. Which means I get to eat ANOTHER HAMBURGER! AHHHHHHHH!

7) I showered this morning! Which means that I don't have to shower again for another day or so!

Happy Thursday!

Found it.

So, I had to start a blog for one of my classes and I apparently posted this one under that blog instead of this blog. AHHHH TOOO MANY BLOGS! Anyway, here's my life update. Pretend like you're reading this last night, because that is when I wrote it:

I don't really know if anyone will even see this, but if you were wondering, I am alive and have been reading your blogs, even though I haven't been posting. Yes, that might be selfish, but what are you going to do about it? I'd like to say that I've been eating yummy things like Abby or being fashionable like Ashley or something, but I haven't. In fact, I eat a toasted cheese sandwich for every meal and I wear sweatpants and a t-shirt smeared with snot and saliva every day. No, it isn't my snot or saliva, don't worry. I go to preschool.

It is amazing how many bodily excretions children have. Seriously. Maybe it's because I'm a pushover or maybe it's because I'm really good at hugs, but crying children are magnetically attracted to me. It's crazy. Today I walked into preschool and within the span of 15 minutes, three crying children came over for hugs and consolation, smearing a tear/snot/saliva mixture onto my shirt. This happens so often that I've decided to stop caring about it. I mean, everyone has snot, right? Plus, even if I have snot all over myself, one little boy always tells me that I look beautiful and he loves me. That's why I work at preschool.

Hm let's see...I joined a gym and currently am so sore that I can hardly breathe. Literally. I didn't know that was possible, but it is. I went to Cardio Kickboxing yesterday and thought I was really in-shape because I made it through the entire class. Then I woke up this morning and was sure I had malaria. Turns out, I'm not in shape.

Uh, what else? I got a new computer! Yes, the Mothership finally died. She led a long and fulfilling 6 year life, but her time had come. Conveniently, she crashed while I was studying for a test. Perfect. So I just went and bought a new one. It is weird being able to open .docx documents and being able to use the internet without waiting 3 minutes for each page to load. I'm a whole new woman! Look out, World, here I come with my cute, trendy MacBook! AND I have a camera on my computer now! Isn't that exciting!?

I also got a free flower pen from the Mexican restaurant the day after Valentine's day! Awesome, I know. It's one of those pens that restaurants have that are really big so people don't steal them. Why do I like this pen? Because it looks like I stole it, but in actuality, the lady at the cash register gave it to me! What a great day.

That's about it. I'm getting ready to go to Addison's for happy hour. And by "getting ready," I mean I'm putting on sweatpants and a t-shirt. Why, you may be wondering? Well...

1) I'm tired of dressing nice to go places. No one really cares what I look like, and if they do, too bad. I'm declaring it the Dress-Down Movement. This is gonna be big.

2) At least I'm taking of the snot-shirt.

3) I'm an independent woman, remember?

Constant.

So, I had an entire post written to update you on my life, but for some reason, my computer/blog-world decided to delete it. Isn't it comforting to know that technology still hates me? No matter what changes in this world, good or bad, at least we all know one thing stays constant...I will never be good at technology and technology will never love me.

So, until I find the energy to retype all I had written, just know that I'm alive. Even though I haven't been posting, I've still been reading about all of you. And yes, I meant for that to sound creepy.

My apologies.

So, it's been a while. I know, you've missed me dearly. You've probably been sitting at your computer refreshing your blog-update screen, hoping that I would remember to post another blog. I'm sorry I've cost you all these hours of anguish.

But, I finished my finals this week, so I'm back! I wish I could tell you that my life has been really exciting and I've been ending world hunger or something, but that would be a bold lie. Really, all I've been doing is writing papers and going to Christmas parties. I know, my life is tough.

Speaking of Christmas, however, if I could magically have one wish granted to me, do you know what it would be? I would wish that Muppets were real and actually mingled with humans, like they do in Muppet Christmas Carol, the greatest Christmas movie ever created. I mean, think about it. Imagine walking down the street and seeing these guys walking next to you (figure 7):

Figure 7: Muppets doing what they do best. Acting like they're real humans.

And, to make things better, they're probably singing, because that is what Muppets do. They sing and tell hilarious jokes. My favorite part about my wish-come-true is that seeing a Muppet walking around the streets would be completely normal. That would mean that if you see a small green frog talking to a family of mice, it's no big deal! Or say the birds are talking to you from above? It's just an every day occurrence! I bet that sometimes inanimate objects would even talk to you! I've always thought that the world would be more fun if bridges could talk, and anything is possible in a world with Muppets. I'm sure bridges are funny when they talk.

Another great thing about living in a land with Muppet citizens is that you never get seriously hurt, no matter what happens! It's like Muppets act as an instant force-field against all calamity. I mean, not that the calamities don't occur, but when they do occur no one gets hurt! I once saw Gonzo fall 30 feet from a tree and simply get up and continue on his merry way. I think this invincibility factor would make my life a lot easier because I fall a lot, and it would be nice to not get injuries all over my body when I do so.

Sometimes I wonder why I fall so much and what I could do to prevent that, but then I can't think of any solutions that I haven't tried. I've tried marching, wearing shoes with exceptional traction, walking on my tip-toes, pounding my heels into the ground when I walk and scuffing my feet, but none of these tactics have worked in keeping me upright. I mean, the other day I walked out of a restaurant and just fell on my face. How did that happen? I have no idea. Granted, it was a little icy, which makes everything worse, but still. Rain also doesn't help my situation. On campus, there are a lot of brick sidewalks and I always, without fail, fall when I'm walking across them in the rain. No matter how careful I am, my feet tend to end up above my head. Needless to say, I always have some pretty awesome bruises, and I won't lie, I kind of like bruises. Sure, they mean that I'm bleeding internally, but they always make me feel really tough. One time I had a bruise on my hip in the shape of a snowman and just because I had to fall down a flight of stairs to get it doesn't make it any less awesome.

Anyway, if I couldn't have that first wish, I would wish that I could just be a character in Muppet Christmas Carol. I mean, is there any better portrayal of Dicken's story!? No. There isn't. I would want to be the little bunny that carries the huge turkey to Bob Cratchet's house at the end because he is so cute and bouncy! Plus, I think it would be fun to have bunny ears. I just realized that that little bunny has a name and that name is Bean Bunny, and Bean Bunny is also the bunny in the movie The Tale of the Bunny Picnic (figure 8):

Figure 8: The cutest Muppet in existence. And that is a proven fact.

Seriously. This is the cutest Muppet I've ever seen, and I've seen my fair share of Muppets in my day. This movie makes me think of all those Wee Sing-Along movies that used to be so cool when I was little. Actually, they might still be cool, but I haven't been little for about 18 years, so I'm not sure. My favorite one was Big Rock Candy Mountain because they had root beer rivers. Wouldn't that be incredible?! We also had the Grandfather's Mansion sing-along, but we could never watch it because my little brother, Logan, was terrified of it. Like seriously. There was one scene where they said the Hickory-Dickory-Dock poem and the mouse who ran up the clock gave him nightmares. Needless to say, we led a pretty sheltered childhood if we were having nightmares about mice from a children's movie.

The last thing that would make my wish complete would be if I could touch the Ghost of Christmas Present's beard/hair (figure 9):

Figure 9: Wow. That beard looks soft.

I might be creepy.

I might be creepy. I mean, I'm not creepy as in you wake up one rainy night and I'm staring in your window or anything, but I am creepy in the "I want to know everyone's business" kind of way. Maybe that's weird, or maybe I just really like people and want to know everything about them. Not that I necessarily care about every detail of their lives (though I usually do), but I just find it interesting to know peoples' relationships to eachother and why they do the things they do (obviously, since that is the basis of this blog). So, instead of saying I'm creepy, let's say that I'm doing scientific research into the lives of the people around me. Because I am.

Honestly, though, it drives me crazy when I don't understand people. Like that guy that is at Kaldi's every Wednesday. Yes, I'm there every Wednesday, too, but that is just because they have free internet and I can't figure out how to make the Mizzou wireless work on my laptop (you have to have secret code's and also have to know how to work technology; two things I know nothing about). Anyway, this is also the guy who I confused when I smiled at him, if you were wondering (because I would have been...). But, I just can't figure him out! I can't tell how old he is, what he's getting his degree in (I do know he is a TA, so I know he's in school), or if he has any friends. Why do I care? I DON'T KNOW! I took a strengths test the other day for my job so that we could see our leadership style or something, and my number one strength is:

Includer: People especially talented in the Includer theme are accepting of others. They show awareness of those who feel left out, and make an effort to include them.

This must be why I worry about people I have never even met and know nothing about. Anyway, like I said, Kaldi's Guy is there every Wednesday. He sits at the bar by the window and is always reading a small book and writing in a journal. He just sits there for hours, reading and laughing to himself. Last Wednesday, I was sitting at a table close to him (not on purpose...that would be especially creepy. It was just the only table near an outlet and I needed to plug in my computer) and all of a sudden, he jumped and spilled his water all over the window. He looked frantically around the coffee shop to see if anyone saw him, and since I obviously did see him, I just said:
Julie: It's ok, I'm the only one who saw.
Kaldi's Guy: (laugh) That's embarrassing. At least it was just water. I was reading and had a genius idea! I guess I just got too excited!
Julie: A genius idea!? Then it's totally worth the water spill!

Then he proceeded to thouroughly clean up his spill. And by thouroughly, I mean he got every last drop of water; it was pretty impressive/borderline OCD. He also gets up and walks around a lot and I have no idea where he is always going.

Things I want to know about Kaldi's Guy:
1) What was the genius idea??
2) Why was he so intent on cleaning so well? Was it because I was watching?
3) Where does he always go when he walks around?

Or that couple in my class that sometimes act like they're dating, but still seem like they are just friends. Girl is always touching Boy, like patting his arm or his hair (kind of weird) and always giggles at everything Boy says, but Boy doesn't act like he's dating her, which makes me think they're either:
a) just friends, or
b) Girl really likes Boy and Boy doesn't realize it.

Or, maybe Girl is just one of those people that touches a lot. You all know someone like that, I'm sure. Someone who just really likes to hug or hold hands or touch in some way. Kind of like Elmyra Duff from Tiny Toons. You know? That cartoon from the nineties with the young Looney Tunes characters? Well, Elmyra Duff was the girl who was always hugging animals (click on link for a compilation of some lady's favorite Elmyra clips accompanied by a ridiculously stupid song. Someone has too much time on their hands...): Elmyra, the animal hugger.

Honestly, I wasn't allowed to watch Tiny Toons as a child because my mom thought that Elmyra was abusing animals. Actually, we weren't allowed to watch any TV when we were little. I take that back. We were allowed to watch one show each week and it had to be educational and we had to highlight it in the TV guide. Thus, we always ended up watching Wishbone, the show about the dog that acts out classics like Don Quixote and Robin Hood, to name a few of my favorites (figure 6):

Figure 6: Wishbone portraying Robin Hood. He's about to shoot a bulls-eye.

Without Wishbone, we would have been that weird family that never ever got to watch TV. Oh my gosh. A terrible thought just popped into my mind...I think that Wishbone is probably dead! I mean, he's just a dog that can talk! He can't live forever! NOOOO! According to Wikipedia, he died on June 26, 2001.

I'd like to take a moment of silence to remember the life of a small dog named Wishbone. Wishbone was a valiant pooch with a vast imagination. He had a special way of teaching things to his owner, Joe, and also taught children across the nation about the wonderful world of books. From his wagging tail to the paw print spot on his ear, he will always be remembered in the Brunner house as the TV show that kept us connected to our fellow suburban children, and for that, we owe him a lot. Wishbone, you changed my life and I'll never forget the way you fought those windmills when you were pretending to be Don Quixote or how you slept for a hundred years when you were Rip Van Winkle. Thank you. You'll never know how much you meant to me.

Ok, back to Boy and Girl. Maybe they are dating, which would explain a lot. Like why I saw them walking around holding hands. Yeah, they're probably dating.

Things I want to know about Girl and Boy:
1) Are they dating?

I think finding the answer to that question would clear things up for me.

Speaking of people in my classes, I also want to be best friends with my statistics teacher, because he is awesome! And possibly the nicest person I've ever met, and I'm not even kidding. He's about 60 years old and he loves statistics and teaching and students. Perfect combo, right? It's like he's one of those teachers on a Lifetime Original Movie that comes in to teach a class of hopeless drop-outs and completely turns them around and, because of him, they all leave the class to win Nobel Peace Prizes or eliminate poverty or something equally wonderful. Sheesh, what an inspirational tear-jerker!

Some neighbors.

As I mentioned in another post, I've started walking with my friend, and neighbor, Urme. At first, I felt really lame when I told people I was "going walking" because it makes me feel like a 35 year old mother of three, but after some analysis and careful calculations, I've finally realized that I hate running and it really hurts my knees and I don't want to do it anymore. See Table 1.

Table 1. Activity	Do you like activity?	Does activity cause you physical pain?
Running	No.	Yes.
Walking	Yes.	No.

So, I've chosen to adhere to my scientific findings and set aside my pride to become a walker. Though I may not feel as "cool," I have met a lot more people while walking than I did while running. Previously, I had not met many of my neighbors. Maybe because I'm in grad school and I work all the time, but probably because I used to run and would obviously run so fast that no one could even get a word in before I was at the next block. It was like talking to The Flash, except there was less lightning (figure 4).

Figure 4. The Flash, in all of his lightning and spandex glory.

So anyway, the first couple I met as I ventured into the wild blue yonder live across the street from me. They were planting mums in their front yard. Correction: They were planting TONS of mums in their front yard. I mean, they already had a lot of mums planted and there were still at least 6 pots waiting to enter the ground. When I walked by, I said "hello" and the wife just said: "Hello there! I don't know where we're going to plant all of these flowers!" And since I didn't know where she was going to plant them either, I just responded by telling her it doesn't matter where she puts them because her yard is beautiful already. They also have this incredible copper sprinkler that spins and shoots water out the edges. And though that description sounds like something all sprinklers do, it isn't. See figure 5.

Figure 5. Copper sprinklers that changed my life.

Now that you understand how awesome they are, I'll tell you that they have probably made my favorite things list, coming in close behind raindrops on roses and right before cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels. Actually, I really just love spinning things. Like spinning stools, tops, fans, pinwheels, merry-go-rounds (the kinds at parks, not the kinds with horses and random animals to ride), and lazy susans. While we're on the topic of lazy susans, I would just like to say that the most incredible lazy susan I have ever laid eyes on is in Hunan's, a chinese restaurant in Jeff City. Yes, that was a bold statement but I'm sticking to it. It sits on a huge, round, 12 person table and spins with amazing ease. Luckily, my family is large so we get to use it often. However, a large family+lazy susan also means that we share food, which is fine with me, except everyone always likes my dish the best, because it is the best. I could live on chicken and broccoli from Hunan's. And I wish I were joking. My mom is the worst about eating my chicken and broccoli because she always orders the Happy Family (because she likes the name) and no one likes the Happy Family (because it's gross).

Anyway, my walk didn't end there. And it would be really sad and pathetic if it did. After meeting up with Urme, we continued our walk through the neighborhoods of Columbia. We saw lots of things, like a squished snake in the road, a dead frog and the cutest little girl I've ever met. Well, maybe not ever, but she was up there. Anyway, when we walked by, she immediately held up a book about guinea pigs and yelled:

Guinea pig girl: Look how long this guinea pig's hair is!

Julie: Wow! That looks like a good book! Do you have a guinea pig?

GPG: No. I just like them.

Urme: Do you want to know a cool fact about guinea pigs? They are one of the only animals that will eat and eat and eat and never stop.

(Urme said this and GPG just stared blankly at her. Apparently, she didn't care about that guinea pig fact...)

Julie: What do guinea pigs like to eat?

GPG: They will eat any kind of vegetable, like carrots, lettuce, probably spinach.

Urme: That sounds like healthy eating. Do you like to eat healthy food?

GPG: ...and they like tomatoes.

Julie: Man, guinea pigs are so cool!

Urme: See you later!

We started walking away and after we passed a few houses, we heard a small voice yelling: "They also like to eat celery!" so we turned around to see her holding up the book, like we might be able to see the picture. So Urme yelled back: "That's so cool!" and we kept walking for a few feet and heard the small voice again, yelling: "...and broccoli!" so I replied: "Broccoli's my favorite food!" I pretty sure we made a new best friend.

Auction folk.

Since I'm not very good at liking football, I traded my ticket to yesterday's game for a trip to rural Missouri. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the Tigers and I'd do almost anything to hear the Missouri Waltz, but I don't love:

-Waiting in an enormous mob of people to enter the gates to the stadium, or

-Standing for 3 hours because my seats are in the student section and that's how the student section works.

I'd much rather be with Grammy at an estate auction in Gerald, MO. I mean, what's better than dirt roads, roast beef sandwiches and priceless treasures for as far as the eye can see? Nothing. When Mom, Dad, Rachel and I pulled up, we parked and started the long trek toward the sounds of the auctioneers. I've always known that auctions were pretty intense in rural Missouri, but I guess I momentarily forgot until we literally had to park a half-mile away. No, that's not really that far, but when you compare the number of people in the area to the number of cars at the auction and then add in the fact that we usually get front-row parking everywhere we've ever gone, then half of a mile is actually quite a hike. It's all in the way you look at it.

Anyway, yesterday was the auction of a sweet lady named Clara who used to make all the quilt-tops for the quilters at Grammy's church. Thus, this was a big day for all the quilters in the area because Clara had trailer-loads of fabric in all shapes and sizes. There were trash bags filled with random scraps of fabric and people were paying upwards of $60 for them! That's where we found Grammy. By the trailer-o-scraps, directly in front of the auctioneer and let me tell you what, she had her auction face on and she meant business. Rachel and I were going to stand by her, so we kept trying to get her attention, but she was SO into the sale that she didn't see us signaling to her. In her defense, however, we couldn't signal too boisterously because if you wave your hand or make any quick movemen

ts, the auctioneers think your bidding on something, and we all know I have nothing to do with a trash bag of fabric. One time, at the Thanksgiving Dinner quilt auction at Grammy and Papa's church, I was just sitting there talking with my friends and I started playing with my hair and they thought that I was bidding. Luckily, someone else really wanted that quilted pillow or I would be up one pillow and down $40.

Anyway, Grammy finally saw us and after she organized the sale items in the truck bed, we went to grab some lunch at the food stand. As a side note, Grammy always organizes things around her. No, she doesn't work for the auctioneering company, but she still likes to make sure all the bags are lined up, the quilts are folded correctly, and the cups are categorized. Ok, back to lunch. Everyone who knows of my eating habits (and my tend

ency to avoid most meats and everything with a questionable texture) will be shocked to hear what I had, and enjoyed, for lunch. It was a roast beef sandwich! I know. This is a big step for me. I don't know how they did it, but they:

1) Turned the potentially tough and fatty roast beef into a texture that resembled tuna from a can. Think roast beef meets blender, and though that sounds disgusting, it eliminates the chance one might have to bite into a chunk of chewy fat particl

es.

2) Provided wonderful condiments to accompany the roast beef: onions, pickles and ketchup, all three of which are close to my heart. Though I must say, ketchup is closer than the others. I could eat, and do eat, ketchup on almost anything. Honestly, I thought everyone ate as much ketchup as I do, but apparently most people only eat ketchup with their burgers and their fries, making me the "weird one" for putting ketchup on my turkey sandwiches, grilled cheese, fish, chicken, baked potatoes, chips, vegetables, and bread, to name a few.

In conclusion, this sandwich changed my life. When we finished eating, we headed back toward the auction. Actually, we hadn't really finished eating, but Grammy heard them start auctioning some quilt tops that she really wanted, so she frantically handed me her water and her previous purchases and ran back toward the mounds of fabric. Unfortunately, she didn't get the quilt top she wanted, but she did get two baby quilts that she is apparently saving for when one of her grandchildren has a baby. I vote Andy goes first because he's the oldest.

Another thing I love about auctions is that being at an auction automatically makes you friends with everyone there. If you're standing near the auction ta

ble looking at something, people will just come up and talk to you about it, oftentimes telling you it's entire history. Lots of auction-goers bring these auction books where they look up all the items for sale to determine their value, thus, allowing them to find wonderful treasures in the form of tiny glass figurines, creepy 80 year-old dolls, and colored glass butter dishes (figure 3).

Figure 3. Glass snail, found at auctions. Every bookshelf needs one and it may be worth millions.

It's like we're in a secret Auction-Folk Club that only auction-goers know about and you automatically become a member when you step foot on the premises. And it's awesome because, once again, I like it when people come up and talk to me. I also like when people wave at me when they're driving; It makes me feel like the local I wish I were. However, I recently realized that not everyone waves to drivers like I do. I mean, living in rural Missouri for a year brainwashed me into automatically waving at passers-by, but that is not how things go down in Columbia, MO. The other day I was walking downtown with my friend, Urme, and this car drove by and honked at us. Well, actually, she honked at Urme because she knew Urme, but the second I heard that honk, I just started waving. Why do I do that?! It's like Pavlov and his dog. I have been classically conditioned to start frantically waving the instant I hear a car horn or make eye-contact with a driver, which, once again, classifies me as the "weird one." Oh well. There was this little girl at the auction that had long blonde pigtails, round glasses and a shirt that said: "It's more fun to be the weird one" and I must say, I agree.

After the auction, we headed back to Owensville to see Papa, who, when I asked him why he wasn't at the auction, pretended that he lost track of time and "accidentally" missed it. I know the truth: he's not a fan of auctions. For dinner we went to Kline's in Rosebud, MO and enjoyed the personalized catfish special, which means that instead of ordering what was on the board (fried catfish with fries, cole slaw and hushpuppies) we ordered grilled catfish with a baked potato, green beans and a roll. You know you're in a small town when you can completely change the special and no one cares.