slammer.

Today, my mother made me clean out all my Save Boxes in the attic. Growing up, Brunner children have Save Boxes. This means, my mom would get a big plastic tub and we could save things that were special to us. Apparently I had a lot of things that were important to me. Great things like that seed necklace I made at Girl Scout camp and that picture of me with Tigger at Disneyland (and yes, Beth Gandy, I am wearing the purple plaid Pooh Bear overalls. You can be jealous of my trendiness. I don't mind). But among those valued items, most of which are now in the trash, I found my Pog collection. And I'm keeping it. It will always be special and important to me. Especially that Pog with the hologram picture of a dolphin on it. And most importantly, my Apollo 13 slammer. When I was little I really wanted to be an astronaut. Fortunately, I did not pursue that career because I just heard that astronauts are about to not exist and we're sending the last group of people up into space very soon. Anyway, I have lots of space things that I found today, like autographed pictures of astronauts and fancy photos of the Hubble telescope. You know, really cool, non-nerdy things like that. And I like them. And I'm going to frame them all and hang them in my future single-independent-working-girl-Julie house.

It doesn't get any better than this.

And I found awards from things like the spelling bee and Destination Imagination that congratulate me on getting second place for something or another. And I found trophy's from that one year I thought it would be a good idea to try and play sports. And I found my bunny collection and my thimble collection and my rock collection and my bell collection. I tried to throw the rock collection away, but my mom wouldn't let me. She said the rocks are too shiny and special to throw away. My mom thought that everyone should have a collection growing up, so I guess I had 5. All I ever wanted to collect were shot glasses, but my mom wouldn't let me. I mean, come on now. What little girl wouldn't want to collect cute miniature cups that have pictures of bunnies on them? 

Bunnies and bowties. Things that children love.

But I guess my mom didn't want her 5 year-old to look like a huge boozer. So she just started buying me things like thimbles and bells hoping I would forget about collecting shot glasses. I didn't forget. For a while I tried collecting those little toothpick holders, but those are really weird so I stopped.  So, my point is that I now have numerous collections that will be gracing the bookshelves of that single-independent-working-girl-Julie house. And since it's my house I can do whatever I want. And I want to wear aprons, eat ice cream out of shot glasses, dance to Paul Simon and display my trophies, collections and autographs from astronauts.

so much excitement.

It is Monday. Monday's generally aren't very exciting for people. I mean, you're probably just sitting at your respective houses/apartments/coffee shops just waiting to hear about the most exciting part of my day. And I know you're thinking, "But Julie, it's only 10am. How could your day be so exciting already?" Well. I will tell you.

I'm in Owensville (exciting). At Grammy and Papa's house because I literally have only 2 obligations this entire week (exciting). One is a birthday party at McNally's, so I'm not sure if most people would really count that as an obligation, but I am going to. In fact, that is my favorite obligation of the week. I wish all my obligations involved pepper jack cheese sticks and a beer. But they don't, and in retrospect, that's probably a good thing. The other obligation is on Tuesday, which is not today. So, I'm in Owensville (double exciting).

On Monday/Wednesday/Friday mornings at 8am, Grammy goes to Old Lady Chair Aerobics at rehab (exciting). Yes, that is exactly what Grammy calls the class. Yes, Grammy took me with her this morning. Yes, it was all old ladies. Yes, it is just as good as it sounds. 

Just imagine a room full of old ladies sitting in chairs and doing bicep curls with 3lb weights.

Domination.

Then, as if it could get any better, the instructor went to a closet and pulled out a bag with Pickle Ball paddles. What is Pickle Ball, you may wonder? Are you ready for this? Basically, everyone gets a paddle and a Nerf ball and you play life-size ping pong with each other (exciting). Yeah. Grammy has been telling me about Pickle Ball for weeks. It was awesome. Nerf balls flying all over the room, old ladies scurrying around picking them up, determined looks on everyone's faces. Love.


Maybe my impending unemployment isn't so bad. I mean, I could always move back in with Grammy and Papa and just play Pickle Ball every day. Roomies unite (exciting)!

victory?

Today, as I was picking children up from school I listened to three 12-14 year-olds discuss in detail the death of Osama Bin Laden. They told me how our soldiers shot him right in the head multiple times as well as how they killed the two women who were with Bin Laden. They explained the types of bullets and guns that were used, argued with each other about where he was dumped in the sea and how far the soldiers threw him, detailed how “we” beat him up and tortured him before he was killed because he deserved it, and joked about the amount of blood Bin Laden must have lost throughout this process. And it broke my heart.

I feel we have failed these kids. They have grown up in a society that glorifies hatred and violence. Every other word out of their mouth is about hurting someone or how much they hate something. But how can we blame them when that is what surrounds them? Our country has so many issues, and most of them come from the inside, not the outside. It is important we stand together, but what about standing together to make sure every child has an equal chance of succeeding, no matter their socioeconomic status? What about standing together to reduce the number of homeless people in our communities by providing more resources and support? What about standing together to eliminate human trafficking? Can we really claim to be the "Land of the Free" when people are forced to sell their bodies for sex and labor within our borders? What about standing together to reduce the violence in our communities? What about standing together to make sure every child feels the love and appreciation they deserve? We give up almost instantaneously on those "bad, disobedient children" in our country, but search the world with vigor and dedication for years to get revenge on one man.

I don't know if all or any of the things I heard about Bin Laden's death from these kiddos are true, and frankly I don't really want to know. I do believe it is important to protect and stand up for our country and I admire those people who dedicate their lives to do so. However, I think our focus should be on the future, not the past. There is nothing we can do about what is behind us. All we have is what is ahead.

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." —MLK

update.

So, it's been a while since I've posted. I wish I could say it's because I'm doing really important things, but that would be a lie. I've actually just been doing an insane amount of really average things that have culminated into a very busy existence. Thus, I shall catch you all up on the status of my life:

1) I'm still unemployed as of May 14 at 8pm when I graduate. Yes, I'm applying to lots of jobs. No, I'm not too picky. I just want to make more than the $9,000 I lived off of this past year. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so.

2) I have created a food survival plan for when I'm unemployed. In order to survive, I have decided I will eat peanut butter and bananas for every meal. Why? Well, other than the fact that I dream about peanut butter frequently, it has a lot of protein. And I love everything about peanut butter. And bananas are cheap. And they have a lot of potassium. Win win. Fortunately, I already eat large quantities of peanut butter and bananas, so it will be an easy transition.

3) Speaking of peanut butter, I have discovered the greatest peanut butter in the world. Well, at least in the United States. Well, at least on the Travel Channel's "Best Sandwich Places in America" show. Question: Did you know that there is a restaurant in New York City that only serves peanut butter sandwiches? Fact. It is called Peanut Butter and Co. You know that part in Forrest Gump where Lt. Dan shows up at the boat dock and Forrest gets so excited he just runs off of the boat and starts swimming to the dock while the S.S. Jenny just runs into the shore? Yeah, that's what I want to do with Peanut Butter and Co. I want to go to there. I will run to you. 

Lt. Dan=PB and Co. Forrest=Me. Look how happy I am.

And as if things couldn't get more exciting, they sell Peanut Butter and Co. peanut butter at the grocery store! I know! Mind-blowing. So, I bought 3 flavors: Cinnamon Raisin, White Chocolate, and Honey. Unfortunately, when I'm unemployed I won't be able to afford gourmet peanut butter. I guess I'll just have to eat jars and jars in preparation for May 14. It's like I'm storing up for hibernation. Like a little bear who likes peanut butter. Speaking of bears, I hung out with middle schoolers at a retreat this weekend and we had a big dance one night. Amidst all the drama about who did or didn't dance with Austin, they played this song. It's apparently called the Gummy Bear song. Watch the video and then imagine 30 middle school kids bouncing around like gummy bears. Perfection.

4) The other day I was running on this little trail I discovered and I saw 4 deer and 2 foxes. Nature is cool!

it's not me, it's you.

Dear Michael who keeps sending me spam emails,

I don't know what to say. When I got my first spam message from you I was flattered. I couldn't stop thinking about how lucky I was to be chosen to receive your sketchy offers. Out of all the gazillion email addresses in the world, you chose mine. You lovingly presented me with offers to place my ad on millions of blogs. You told me this method has never been released to the public before. Ever. You assured me I could make $10-25 every single day by simply clicking my mouse. You seemed perfect, faultless. We were MFEO. Until I discovered the list of other Gmail addresses you were contacting. Just how many Julie's are you emailing? I need to know. Who is this julielynchaffee? And julielynncox? I thought we had something special...You would send me emails every other day. I would mark them as spam and then delete them forever. Didn't that mean anything to you?

Oh Michael, how I did admire your dedication to excessive emailing. It didn't matter that I never responded and got really annoyed each time your name popped up in my inbox. You showed such determination. But it's over. If I could figure out how to block your emails forever, I would. However, Gmail is apparently too complex for me, so until I find someone who knows how to do that, just know that things will never be the same between us.

Please stop emailing me.
Julie

city mouse/country mouse.

I've recently discovered that as much as I like the idea of being a city girl, I might not be a city girl. Sure, I think it would be really exciting and independent to move to a city, get a posh apartment, have a real job with a salary, and be able to tell people that I live in a city, but that might not happen. And here are the reasons why:

I think I might hate cities. The only city that I actually like is Boston because I don't have to drive anywhere when I'm there. All I have to do is jump on the subway (or walk if I'm with my older brother who refuses to take the subway even when it's blizzarding and the temperatures are far below freezing...it's a touchy subject, so don't ever bring it up). I would never have to park, navigate traffic, or get lost every time I go somewhere. Well, I may get lost, but I would be on foot not car. And for some reason, that sounds more enjoyable to me. At least if I'm on foot, I don't have to consider abandoning my car to run through the streets crying and screaming. I also wouldn't have to worry about one-way streets. Or buildings. But as of now, I don't have a job in Boston. I only have a brother there.

This is Boston. I could be here. Lost and running frantically through alleyways.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to afford a posh apartment. Or city living. Turns out people in the social services fields don't really make much money. Maybe I should have looked into that a little sooner, as in before I'm about to graduate with my master's. So, even if I become a city girl with a real job and salary, I probably still won't be able to afford the apartment. And if I somehow manage to afford the apartment, I may not be able to afford utilities. Or food. Or nice beer. Obviously I don't care much about the utilities part...I hate showers anyway, but we all know how much I love food and nice beer. 

I like to talk to people. I don't want to be that weird girl from Missouri that talks to everyone she sees, because who are we kidding? That's who I would become. Is it okay to walk into a grocery store in New York City and start talking to people in the produce aisle? Is it okay to make eye contact and smile at people on the street? Is it okay to sit right next to someone on the subway? I don't know. 

I may or may not be a little too trusting. I tend to think that all people are good and, thus, leave my belongings scattered across Columbia. Fortunately, in Columbia, you can accidentally leave your car door hanging open downtown for two hours and only know you did it because the police will call and tell you they shut it and locked it. That might have happened to me. I'm also not really scared of people. Or darkness. Or walking by myself in the darkness. And I think that you need to be a little scared to live in a city. So, now I'm Julie, fearlessly lost and running through city alleyways in the darkness. And I'm listening to Arcade Fire's song We Used to Wait on my iPod (which hasn't been stolen yet, but may be in the near future when I potentially leave it on the table at some coffee shop). Oh and by the way, you should probably click on the link to the song and follow the directions on the website. Spoiler Alert: It will possibly lead you to the greatest thing you've ever seen. You're welcome.

I also really like small towns. And cities are definitely not small towns. Though I suppose there are always parts of cities that can feel somewhat small town-like. But can anywhere be better than Owensville, Missouri? Where the backyards look like this: 

Try and tell me you don't want to roll around on Papa's perfect grass.

And the bingo cards look like this:

If I could choose any of those dotters, I would choose purple.

I suppose we'll just have to wait and see where I end up! And by that, I mean "I suppose we'll just have to wait and see if I get a job!" And at this point, the chances that I'm rolling around in Grammy and Papa's backyard forever are looking pretty high. I think I'm okay with that.

oh monday.

I'm tired of Mondays. Monday's are boring. I do not like them. I have absolutely no obligations on Mondays and it kills me.  Take today, for example: I woke up, brushed my teeth, made coffee and my morning bagel, sat on the couch, checked my email, sat on the couch a little longer, painted my nails and that's it. That's all I've accomplished today. It's pathetic. Sure, this means that I can sit perfectly still until my nails dry completely, reducing the risk for smudges, but I'm bored. I've consumed so much coffee I'm shaking and I need something to do. Approximately 94% of those of you reading this post probably want to punch me in the throat right now, but I would trade you places in a heartbeat.  

I would go somewhere, but:
1) It's snowing.
2) I have no gas in my car.
3) I have nowhere to go.
4) I have no money.

So, I'm stuck here. On my couch. In my attempt to find something to do with my time, I Googled images for the word "bored" and I came up with this gem:

Earth Cat vs Moon Mouse.

I'm not completely sure how this relates to "bored," but it does further enforce my fear of cats. Cats are terrifying and I do not like them. I mean, look at the fangs on Earth Cat. Poor little Moon Mouse doesn't know what's coming. I especially dislike fat cats. Sometimes I can handle skinny cats if they do funny things. My friends, Abby and Chris, have a cat that leaps up on stair rails and that's pretty funny to watch because sometimes he falls off the side. But their cat is skinny. Fat cats are gross. Seriously, look at this:

Ew. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Imagine this animal walking around your house. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say scooting around your house, because I'm pretty sure its legs will not support its weight. Gross. Maybe my disgust of fat cats stems from that time in high school anatomy class when we had to dissect cats. And of course my group got the chubby one. And when we made cuts into its leg, fat particles started gooshing out (yes, gooshing). And it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. And I still have nightmares about it. Other animals aren't that gross when they're fat. Take this fat bunny, for example:

I. Want. To. Hug. This.

Fat bunny=not creepy at all. Just fluffy. If I had this bunny I may or may not be the happiest girl on Earth (regular Earth, not on fanged cat Earth). Not only is it adorable, but you can use the fur to make useful things like mittens. And who wouldn't want a pair of bunny mittens? However, in the defense of cats, I do like kittens. And I would like them even more if they all looked like this all the time:

Living the dream.

All this fear and disgust of cats probably means I'm going to fall in love and marry some guy who loves fat cats and I'm going to have to watch it roll around the house every boring Monday. Here's hoping I have more obligations on Mondays in the future!