sometimes you're horrible, nyc.

So I'm sure that NYC seems awesome. Lots of people really like it. I mean, there's the Statue of Liberty and the Brooklyn Bridge and Broadway shows and we're the city that never sleeps and all that stuff, but it's also kind of horrible here. And by horrible, I mean that it literally smells like dying, decomposing death everywhere. 

Especially now, in the 10,000,000 degree heat where 100,000,000 people put their trash out on the streets on trash day, which seems to be every single day. And those black bags of death sit in the direct sunlight so that you can't walk down the street without continually gagging.

WHY DID THIS PERSON THROW AWAY THAT FAN!?
Don't they know it's 10,000,000 degrees?

Especially now, in the 10,000,000 degree heat where that nasty pile of vomit next to the bench in your subway platform is literally festering and the smell seems to be spreading all the way to the other end of the platform where you like to stand.

Especially now, in the 10,000,000 degree heat where you have to walk everywhere and then stand in suffocating underground subway platforms while sweating profusely, and then have to cram into overcrowded subway cars with a gazillion other sweaty, smelly people, where your face always seems to end up directly in some tall guy's armpit.

Dear Guy in the Middle,
I feel the same way.
Love, Julie

Especially now, in the 10,000,000 degree heat when a simple task like walking to the grocery store 3 blocks away because you forgot you have absolutely no food at home results in you sweating so much you have to come home and shower and by the time you finish, you're not even hungry anymore (this is my new diet. I'm going to be the skinniest ever). And then, when you actually motivate yourself to eat dinner, you regret it immediately when you remember you have to use your oven and/or stove and end up just opting for cereal dinner instead.

Especially now, in the 10,000,000 degree heat when your tiny window unit air conditioner only cools half of one room of your apartment.

Especially now, in the 10,000,000 degree heat when you get dressed for work and end up completely drenched by the time you actually get to your office. Cute.

But at least my favorite frozen yogurt place is only one block away!

Yeah. I will eat you every day.