Monday, January 16, 2012

apartment bunny.

There are a lot of things that I like. I like soft things. I like to laugh. I like how squeaky my teeth feel after I brush them. I like to sing songs really loudly. I like sparkles. And I really, really like bunnies.

I like you, little friend.
I think it would be a really good idea to get an apartment bunny. Scott does not. I think my life would be a lot cuter and fluffier if I could come home to a bunny every day. I would name it Gus Gus, because I've decided that is what I'm calling all things cute. I could potty train it and teach it to follow me around the apartment. Then I could get it a little leash and take it on hop-walks around Astoria. And I could feed it mini-carrots and it would snuggle with me while I watch Enya music videos.

We would be the best of friends! I can't think of any good reasons an apartment bunny would be a bad idea. But I can think of a lot of reasons it would be a really fantastic idea.
  1. Bunnies are adorable. I like how their little noses twitch and I like how fluffy their hopping feet are.
  2. We could take Gus Gus to coffee shops in the summer. I can just see us sitting there, drinking our iced lattes with a little apartment bunny on the end of a leash.
  3. We could take pictures of it and put them up all over our apartment. Currently, the only thing we have hanging in our living room is a dead Christmas wreath. I think pictures of future Gus Gus would be much more special.
  4. We could cuddle with it. I mean, if we had an apartment bunny, it would be sitting on my lap right now, watching me write this blog.
  5. Sometimes I bet Gus Gus would sit on my shoulder, like my own little parrot bunny. In these instances, I would wear an eye patch and hold a bottle of rum. I would always be a pirate for Halloween/Wednesday afternoon/all the time.
  6. It could help us eat that semi-old head of lettuce we have sitting in the back of our refrigerator.
While I try to convince Scott that he wants an apartment bunny, I'll leave you with this video so that you, too, can really want an apartment bunny. Just wait until you see the little guy on the right yawn. The cutest.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


You know what I like? Zombies. You know why I like them? Because they're awesome and I like how they walk. Scott, Aubrey and I have been watching The Walking Dead (not to be confused with The Walken Dead. Click that link. Seriously, you won't regret it). I mean, what's better than a good old zombie apocalypse? I guess a non-apocalypse would be, but then Scott and I couldn't do the zombie walk all around New York City. Now I'm not saying that people don't think we're insane when we do this, but I guarantee they think we're really cool. If you were walking down the streets of the Upper East Side and you saw someone zombie-ing toward you, there is no way you could tell me you would be unhappy about it. In fact, I may let them bite me just to make it more realistic.

Plus, I tend to fall on my face a lot for no reason, so I figure that if I'm zombie-ing when I fall, people will think I'm normal. Like it's all a part of the act, not like I'm 26 and still have trouble walking. Maybe I buy the wrong size of shoes or something. When we go anywhere, I'm pretty sure Scott and Aubrey take bets on how soon I'll fall. Currently, I have 2 pairs of pants without holes in the knees and 5 pairs with holes. And absolutely no tights without holes, though that's not really saying anything. Sometimes I think it's a cute, trendy idea to wear tights. So I put them on, slip on my trendy, real leather boots and leave my house. And it's at that very moment that I remember I hate tights. And all things that squeeze every part of my body into a state of extreme discomfort. Like unitards.

This is a unitard.
That's another reason I love zombies. They get to wear whatever they want, and it's usually baggy. I dare you to find a zombie wearing tights. You won't. Because even though they have a disease that kills them and then wakes them up with nothing but an intense desire to devour humans, they know that tights are terrible.

They also call them "walkers" in the show. And I like that because I like nicknames and it makes me feel like I'm part of the gang. You know, just Rick, Daryl and Julie. Fighting walkers, protecting the children. No big deal. Speaking of Rick and Daryl, I see Rick look-alike's all the time. Like everywhere I go. Scott says they don't actually look like him, but Scott isn't part of the gang so he can't be trusted. Did you see me type "Rick, Daryl, Julie and Scott" up there fighting zombies? Didn't think so. Oh and Daryl. He has a bow and arrows and he never gives up. Just the best. 

This is Rick.

And that's why I like zombies.