Things that were nice:
- The massage part. That was nice.
- The calming piano music.
- The masseuse used this really nice lotion and made my dead winter skin feel less horrible.
- After the massage, they gave us a plate of Hershey Kisses, a few Reese's and some honey twist pretzels. Like straight up Rold Gold:
|Classy post-massage snacking.|
Things that were weird:
- There were a bunch of towels on my massage table and I didn't know what to do with any of them, so I just got under all of them. That was wrong. I was supposed to lie on top of one and under the other. Oops.
- My face was a little too small for the face hole on the massage table, so it sometimes felt like I was choking.
- My masseuse was very sweet and laughed every time I didn't know what to do in a massage, but she also kept calling me "lady." For example:
- "Is this good, lady?"
- "Are you comfortable, lady?"
- "Lady, it is time to turn over."
- "Massage is over, lady."
- "Thank you, lady."
- Also, everyone was whispering and whispers make me uncomfortable. Brunners don't whisper.
- For part of it, I had to let my arms hang over the table and they kept falling asleep, so I kept wiggling my fingers and accidentally hit the masseuse. She was nice so she just laughed, but that was weird and I am still weird.
- Butt massage. Enough said.
- At one point, I had to flip over, but didn't know what to do, so I basically just grabbed every towel, not realizing she actually placed them in various places for a reason, so (after she laughed, because she was nice) she had to re-arrange the whole table again. I was probably less coordinated than this lion:
|Why is a lion better at massages than I am? I HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS!|
- When we paid, the people specifically asked if we could pay in cash. We may or may not have contributed to something illegal.
However, my body does feel good and it no longer hurts to move, so I will count it as a win.