Tuesday, September 21, 2010


So, last week I thought that it was fall. Why is it now ninety degrees again? I'm sufficiently confused. I thought the days of sweating your bodyweight were over, but I was apparently wrong. Now, this may not be a big problem for some of you non-sweaty people out there, but that is not the case for the rest of us. I don't understand why my body chooses to sweat when the weather is anywhere over seventy degrees. My mom says I should just embrace it because I'm "sweating out impurities," but it's hard to have that positive attitude when I'm worried about getting pit-stains down to my waist. Additionally, pretty much everything makes me sweat.

Things that make me sweat:
1) drinking coffee. Sure, I could stop drinking coffee, but I'm not going to. Like right now, for example, I'm sitting on my couch drinking a cup of coffee and just sweating profusely.

2) moving. And by moving, I mean any time my body is moving, I'm probably sweating. You should see me at the gym. Wait, no. I hate when people see me at the gym because I'm always that sweaty girl who sweats through every article of clothing on her body. I go to these exercise classes at the gym and I'm pretty much the only person that gets super sweaty. I DON'T GET IT! Other people in the classes come in from work, exercise, and then just go back to work because they look the same as they did coming in. But me? I'm so drenched in sweat I have to reserve time to shower before I do ANYTHING else. I'm even embarrassed to go to Walmart after I exercise.

3) typing. Currently, my palms are sweating. Maybe it's because I've become such a speedy typer. Seriously. I remember middle school when I could only get like 30 wpm (that means words per minute, for those of you who didn't have to take typing classes in middle school). You should see me know. I'm a typing fiend!

4) sleeping. Even when I sleep without covers, I wake up sweaty. Ugh.

5) cooking. This is probably a semi-normal time to sweat. Standing by a stove or oven would make anyone sweaty, right? Then why do I literally drip sweat from my body when I cook. Sometimes I'm so hot I just open the refrigerator and freezer and stand there, letting the cold air freeze the perspiration to my face.

6) being outdoors. And I don't just mean being outdoors in the summer. I mean being outdoors at all, in any season. Maybe it's because I live in moist Missouri.

Anyway, I have to end this post because my computer exerting heat and making me sweatier than I already was.

The end.


  1. You are hilarious. I never noticed you sweating. You must hide it well. Or this post was a lie.

  2. I'm glad I have friend who is as sweaty as I am! Bob calls me one of the "Shiny People." I don't even have to move to start sweating if it's about 70. When I straighten my hair, I have to pull my shirt up because my back starts to drip, and halfway through I have to go stand by a fan to dry off before going back to finish the other side of my head. And I would never be able to workout and then go somewhere either; the people next to me would not appreciate that. You are not alone.