Monday, March 14, 2011

oh monday.

I'm tired of Mondays. Monday's are boring. I do not like them. I have absolutely no obligations on Mondays and it kills me.  Take today, for example: I woke up, brushed my teeth, made coffee and my morning bagel, sat on the couch, checked my email, sat on the couch a little longer, painted my nails and that's it. That's all I've accomplished today. It's pathetic. Sure, this means that I can sit perfectly still until my nails dry completely, reducing the risk for smudges, but I'm bored. I've consumed so much coffee I'm shaking and I need something to do. Approximately 94% of those of you reading this post probably want to punch me in the throat right now, but I would trade you places in a heartbeat.  

I would go somewhere, but:
1) It's snowing.
2) I have no gas in my car.
3) I have nowhere to go.
4) I have no money.

So, I'm stuck here. On my couch. In my attempt to find something to do with my time, I Googled images for the word "bored" and I came up with this gem:
Earth Cat vs Moon Mouse.
I'm not completely sure how this relates to "bored," but it does further enforce my fear of cats. Cats are terrifying and I do not like them. I mean, look at the fangs on Earth Cat. Poor little Moon Mouse doesn't know what's coming. I especially dislike fat cats. Sometimes I can handle skinny cats if they do funny things. My friends, Abby and Chris, have a cat that leaps up on stair rails and that's pretty funny to watch because sometimes he falls off the side. But their cat is skinny. Fat cats are gross. Seriously, look at this:
Ew. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Imagine this animal walking around your house. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say scooting around your house, because I'm pretty sure its legs will not support its weight. Gross. Maybe my disgust of fat cats stems from that time in high school anatomy class when we had to dissect cats. And of course my group got the chubby one. And when we made cuts into its leg, fat particles started gooshing out (yes, gooshing). And it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. And I still have nightmares about it. Other animals aren't that gross when they're fat. Take this fat bunny, for example:
I. Want. To. Hug. This.
Fat bunny=not creepy at all. Just fluffy. If I had this bunny I may or may not be the happiest girl on Earth (regular Earth, not on fanged cat Earth). Not only is it adorable, but you can use the fur to make useful things like mittens. And who wouldn't want a pair of bunny mittens? However, in the defense of cats, I do like kittens. And I would like them even more if they all looked like this all the time:
Living the dream.
All this fear and disgust of cats probably means I'm going to fall in love and marry some guy who loves fat cats and I'm going to have to watch it roll around the house every boring Monday. Here's hoping I have more obligations on Mondays in the future!

1 comment:

  1. That's why I avoided taking anatomy in high school.

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