Wednesday, May 23, 2012

highs and lows.

High: I took my laundry in this morning. Say goodbye to Julie wearing dirty clothes and hello to Julie wearing 30lbs of freshly-laundered clothes. And I bet lots of you didn't know I was wearing dirty clothes. Ha. 

Low: I think someone in my apartment building has tuberculosis. The window in my room opens up to a small courtyard and every morning, no matter what time I wake up, I can hear a man cough-puking really loudly. The fun thing about courtyards is that they echo, and while it's nice when pleasant sounds are echoing, it's really disturbing when the sounds of cough-puking are echoing. How can someone cough-puke every single hour of every single morning? The only answer to this is tuberculosis.

So these are the steps I think he should take:

  1. Go to the doctor/health department immediately.
  2. Get some antibiotics.
  3. Take them.

On the off chance that he's not infected with TB, I think the same steps should be followed. NYC is filled with diseases and cough-puking is bad.

High: I finished editing my book, thanks to my smart friends. I'm submitting it for publishing within the next month. Don't ask me what that means, because I'm still figuring that out. But it's happening. My grammy sent me a publishing contest and I've been researching steps involved in self-publishing, because word on the street is that self-publishing is the way to go. I'll keep you updated.

Low: I slipped on pigeon poop this morning and almost fell. There was a guy fixing light bulbs in the walkway to my building and I was busy making up stories in my head about how he got electrocuted and could then shoot lightning from his fingers and wasn't watching where I was walking. The poop smeared all over my shoes. I'm definitely going to get a disease. Then Cough-Puker and I will have to band together to beat the odds. We'll have to eat cold SpaghettiO's from the can and picket for a Cough-Puke-Free NYC. And we'll probably have to move to Canada.

High: I'm going to Buffalo this weekend. And that's close to Canada. And I'm going to see Niagara Falls. And swim in Scott's swimming pool. And hang out with Scott's family. And hopefully not wear shoes. And I don't work on Friday.

Low: I'm all by myself in the office. 

High: I got coffee from Starbucks this morning. Whenever I do my laundry I always treat myself to Starbucks on the way to work because laundry is hard.

Low: I got coffee from Starbucks this morning. I'm literally shaking at my desk. So. Much. Caffeine. Good thing no one is in the office with me.

High: Yesterday I got an entire subway car to myself on my way to work. So I spun around on the poles and sang Irish music. For those of you who commute into Manhattan, this is what a private subway car looks like:
It looks like this.

For those of you who love Irish music, this is a song that I like:

1 comment:

  1. I am so excited about your book! I lost my hard copy that you sent me when all my stuff blew away - bummer :-(