Wednesday, July 4, 2012

apartment fish.

In honor of today, things are happening, and I really like them. Really American things like corn dogs, dinosaurs, and fish.

This past weekend there was a carnival in Astoria Park near our apartment, so we went every day, obviously. And we loved everything about it.

We got to eat corn dogs, my favorite food of all time. If you know me at all, you know I would do almost anything for a corn dog. I mean, what is better than a hot dog wrapped in corn bread with ketchup on top? NOTHING.

We got fake airbrush tattoos. Scott got a "Kiss Me I'm Irish" tattoo on his arm, Sara got a snake tattoo on her chest, and I got a stegosaurus tattoo on my back. I won't lie, I really liked my stegosaurus and if I were to ever get a real tattoo (which I wouldn't because I'm not as cool and hardcore as I pretend like I am) I wouldn't rule a stegosaurus out. I like them because:
  1. Stegosaurus' are the Colorado state dinosaur and I remember learning all about the stegosaurus fossils found and seeing the bones at the museum, because Brunner children went to a lot of museums. Why would Brunners ever do anything non-educational? Oh that's right, we wouldn't.
  2. I really like Spike from The Land Before Time because he just looks squishy and huggable and I like things that are squishy and huggable. And I love when he ate the Tree Star in one bite.
  3. All stegosaurus cartoons are adorable. Google image search them.
Yeah, I would consider permanently tattooing you on my body.
We got an apartment fish and his name is Phineas the First! We won him at the ping pong ball throw...well, actually, we didn't win him. If you played at all, you got a free fish, so I'm not going to claim any skill on our part. But I like him anyway. 

Scott says that Phin1 is dying, but I don't believe him. He says that he has a carnival fungus on his scales and that means he is going to die, but it's been 3 days and he's still flipping! I'm not listening to Scott anyway because he was embarrassed to even carry the fish around in public. On our way home from the carnival, Scott and I were trading of carrying Phin1 and I asked him how awesome he felt carrying a fish down the street, because I felt like the coolest person ever when I was carrying him, and he said that he didn't feel awesome at all and he was embarrassed. So he put Phin1's water bag into a black bag so people couldn't see that he was carrying a goldfish. When we got home he also said we should just flush Phin1 right away and spare him the pain of dying a long, slow carnival fungus death. So, in response to these actions, I've drafted a letter for the future:

Dear Scott's future wife, 

My name is Julie and I lived with Scott in New York City. First of all, congratulations on your marriage! Scott is the greatest, but I'd like to pass on some really important things you should probably be aware of when/if you ever think about having children. Once we got an apartment goldfish at a carnival and Scott was embarrassed to be seen with it so he carried it in a black plastic bag. Then, upon finding out the fish is sick and has carnival fungus on its scales, Scott wanted to flush it. While it was still living. He said that it would be happier in the sewers. So, if you have children, make sure you don't have any bags around, just in case Scott is embarrassed. And when your children get sick, you might want to steer clear of toilets/sewers/manholes/etc.

I wish you the best!

Phineas the First. Alive and well and not flushed.

1 comment:

  1. I cannot imagine Brunners doing something non-educational... EVER. :-)