Thursday, April 25, 2013

shark kitten.

So it turns out that Michael has always wanted a hairless cat. Yes, I know. It's weird. But the other day, I was walking to dinner and stopped in the pet shop to look at the bunny selection (which was adorable, as usual) and noticed they had two hairless cats for sale (which were extremely creepy and weird looking). 

After dinner and a pep-talk from Michael that I am under no circumstances allowed to let him buy a hairless cat and charge it to his credit card, we went back to look at them. Then weird things happened and I found myself in one of the petting booths with the hairless cat and someone was putting it in my arms and it was SO SOFT I WANTED TO DIE. I know. It looks like Lord Voldemort, but it was so soft and cuddly I didn't know what to do with myself (aka I kind of liked it).


Apparently hairless cats are more like dogs than they are like cats, which I like. And it kept cuddling up to me, which I like. And it gave me a little nose kiss on my cheek, which I like. But then we found out they cost $1,000, which I don't like.

Normally I don't really like any cats, even the ones with hair. Because I think they're rude and creepy and really gross when they're fat, but then I saw this cat...

...and I NEED him in my life. I need that little duckling, too, obviously, but look at that cat. He's incredible. Of course he is riding around on a Roomba in a shark suit. What else would you expect him to do? Obviously that's normal and amazing and so very perfect.

Wanting this cat is a big step in my life because honestly, I'm terrified of sharks and I'm terrified of kittens. Like irrationally afraid of both. Yes, it's reasonable to be scared of sharks because they're horrifying and huge and will rip your limbs off and I've read far too many stories in the Reader's Digest about innocent swimmers who end up battling for their lives while a shark, who unexpectedly swam up river into fresh water, is gnawing off their leg or something and then they miraculously survive because they punch the shark in it's nose or something, but I know that kittens won't do those things. They're just weird and scratchy and jump at me. And if there is one thing I don't like, it's when things jump out at me. Things like cats and ghosts and piranhas. 

But I think I could get used to shark kitten.

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