From Retirement to Preschool: professor julie.

If you are the majority of my friend population that doesn't live in NYC and isn't related to me, you might not know that I am now an official Adjunct Professor at St. John's University. You also might not know that I found my first ever grey hair, glimmering in the fluorescent light of the bathroom. I think this must mean I'm an official adult, so I've devised a list of adult-y things I've decided I must now do:

1. Shower daily. It's the worst. My mother has been trying to make me do this for about 20 years. You win, Mom. You win.

2. Eat avocados. Adults love avocados, which means I do, too. Especially when they're like this:


Hello avocados, don't you look mature?

And since I'm so mature and grown-up, that means I can eat them every night if I want to. Because that's what adults do--whatever they want.

3. Spend my money on furniture and real-life things. I now own a lamp, two decorative pillows, two dressers, and two side tables. Things are getting wild up here in Astoria!

4. Go grocery shopping. Unfortunately, New York City is not conducive to grocery shopping, but it is conducive to ordering in food.
Everyone: "But, Julie! What if you divide all your delivery meals into two so that you can take it for lunch the next day?"
My Budget: "Julie, you're not that cool. You don't have money. Go suck on an ice cube or something."

My budget is not my friend.

5. Try out some weird fad diet so I don't look frumpy at my friends wedding this summer. And by "weird fad diet," I mean the Eat-One-Avocado-for-Every-Meal-because-you-can't-Afford-Much-Else-Unless-Michael-Decides-to-feed-you diet. But I'm also going to exercise because that is also something that adults do. Also, Grammy once told me that you lose weight if you get a full night's sleep, so that's definitely going to happen. Oh, 9pm bedtime, I've missed you so!

6. Go to the eye doctor because I haven't been there in approximately forever and I can't see out of my contacts.

7. Go to sophisticated events in NYC. Last week, AJ and I went to see Shakespeare in the Park in Central Park. Sure it rained the entire time as we huddled under AJ's rain slicker, but it's the price you have to pay for culture.

8. Learn how to do my hair in beautiful ways like this: