Monday, February 7, 2011

corn dog bouquets.

Today, my sister brought me a corn-dog. Which automatically places this day among the greatest days of all time. It was inspirational, to say the least. It made me realize that I would do just about anything for a corn-dog. Seriously, if you want a straight path to my heart, give me a corn dog. 
I want to go to there.
Apparently, people will even kill for corn dogs. I just found this article from St. Louis where a kid literally shot his friend because he spilled a plate of corn dogs. I'm not saying that I would shoot anyone over a corn dog, but I am saying I would definitely be upset if a friend dropped a plate of corn dogs on the ground.
Corn dogs are serious business. Especially in St. Louis.

The sweet corn bread. The deep fried hot dog. The little bit of crunchy that gets left on the stick when you finish so you have to gnaw it off. There's nothing better. In fact, I think that the perfect gift would probably be a Corn Dog Bouquet. And to make this idea even more delicious, IT HASN'T BEEN INVENTED YET! I googled it and it does not exist! My grammy always tells me we need to come up with an invention that will make us millions, and I think this is it. 

Think about it. You're sitting on your couch eating a boring, not-as-good, regular hot dog, when the doorbell rings. At first you're annoyed because, who are we kidding, it's annoying to have to get up and go to the door when you're about to start eating. So you go to the door and there is a man holding a bouquet. A bouquet made of corn dogs. And he's singing a little corn dog jingle. And your heart starts to beat a little faster. Not because it anticipates all the corn dog that's about to clog your arteries and not because the delivery boy is dreamy (fact: all Corn Dog Bouquet delivery boys shall be dreamy). It's because you're in love. In love with a crispy, deep fried bouquet of heaven (as well as the guy who sent it). So, in what seems like slow motion, you reach out and wrap your arms around the one thing you've been dreaming about for approximately forever. A bouquet of corn dogs. And at that moment, and for the span of time while you're shoving corn dogs down your throat and before you start to feel like death from eating too many corn dogs, you're happy. And you know that everything is going to be okay, because you have a stomach full of corn dogs and someone who loves you enough to send you a Corn Dog Bouquet. 
This is how happy you will be when you get your bouquet. 

Grammy and I are going to be rich! Seriously.